Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I bet he comes in French.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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