Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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