I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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