i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Green mimosas i think yes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
