why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
be right there i have to get my cape
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
