there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
