69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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