i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
