He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
