my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
