two words: eviction party
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
