dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
