Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
