I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize