So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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