Sponge bath it is.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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