his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
