i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
