She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
