I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
