He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
