It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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