so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
