Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize