if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
