oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
