Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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