wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
