No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
