i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
