ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
