In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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