I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
