I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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