its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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