Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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