she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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