conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
