My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
