There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
