what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
