R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize