I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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