Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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