I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't turn off my feet"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
