I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
