he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize