Cold hands, warm shart.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
