Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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