I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Someone came in the potted fern
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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