THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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