rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
