Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
