I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
