I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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