Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize