i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
