you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
