Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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