Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
