Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
